I wanted to show the beginning and end of the day at either end of the square. I wanted everything that happens in my day to be crammed between the two words awake and sleep. I chose to do awake in bodoni bold because it shows the abrupt wake up call of my alarm. I chose to do sleep in italic because it emphasizes the winding down of my day. I don't know whether to put awake and asleep because awake and sleep have the same number of letters. I also wanted the words to be pushed to the right side how they are on the left but I'm unsure of how to do that. I don't know whether the small words in the middle should be in italic or whether you should be able to see the space between each phrase.I can't get the second rough to add to this post.
I think this idea needs a lot of adjustment. I wouldn’t put the word sleep in italics. Maybe you should try something else like lower case or regular type. Also the text in between awake and sleep need to be continuous and fill the entire space. It needs no big gaps between phrases. Perhaps periods but I don’t think so. I would just have a continuously running text. Also, loose the italic in the middle text. Hope this helps. Good luck. Oh I almost forgot. Check your grammar.
ReplyDeleteI get the awake and the sleep, but I am not feeling like the other stuff is “crammed” between them. Have you tried other solutions? Maybe see what other solutions you can come up with to make it FEEL crammed? This one is just lacking something that the other one has.
ReplyDeleteThe 2nd rough is has a better sense of movement and that something happened in your day. The weight changes in the type looks nice. Maybe you could try adding something more to the base of the spiral, not totally necessary, but to play with it prior to handing it in. Also you could try increasing the size of the font at the top and slowly decreasing it to give it a sense of depth. I vote for working on the 2nd one more, I think that is your strongest piece. It is nice as it is though.
Definitely, the second composition is better than the first one. What I like about the second one is the movement of the words that form a tornado. Also, I like the font you used, and placement of the words. I agree with Annie comment, you should to increase the font size at the top and from there decrease the rest. Have you tried a black background? I think that with a black background your composition will be stronger. I think you are getting there. Good job, it’s a great concept.
ReplyDeleteComp 1: I like how the awake is so big and abrupt, like you said how it wakes you up, but I don’t like how sleep is abrupt too. When I go to sleep I imagine floating away and not like a smack in your face. Maybe you should make it smaller or make it appear as if it is drifting off to sleep. Then make the center text centered and make it more visually appealing. I also think you need to write out and instead of using the & symbol.
ReplyDeleteComp 2: I like the design of this one. It feels like your day is crazy, a whirl wind. I like the emphasis on the swirl with using smaller text.
I think the first composition is a little boring for my tastes. I get your idea and it makes sense but it doesn’t initially draw me in. I think you could make it more interesting by adding more variation to the text, like making the phrases different sizes, boldness, ect. Also, I don’t think so many italics are necessary. I like that you did everything in lowercase though except for awake and sleep. I also think it would be cool to see all the text in between awake and sleep look like it is getting smashed between the two words.
ReplyDeleteThe second comp is definitely more on target I think. I like how this downward spiral of things you do everyday crash into the other words. I think it would be cool to see maybe some of the negative things on the spiral and the words on the bottom be just the every day stuff, that way it seems like the negative things are crashing on your day. But overall I think the layout is nice and I like the repetition
Leanne,
ReplyDeleteI like the idea behind the tornado one, but I think that the tornado could be a lot more intense. Try to create a sense of depth with the tornado, so it isn’t simply a single line spiraling downward. It may be a little difficult and time consuming, but it would really make a difference. Try to think of the tornado being an open oval at the top…as if you had more text before “going to class” that came forward and around to complete a circle at the top. Then, you could widen the lines of text that are in front, and make the text in the back of the tornado smaller. Then if you had the tornado come to a little more of a rounded point, I think it would more so resemble a tornado. I think the text at the bottom is good, but maybe play with the idea of there being text that makes up a “ground”…maybe just a bunch of crowded letters/words . That way, it illustrates even more that the tornado is disrupting something. I really think the concept is great, and with some tweaks on the composition it could be really good.
The tornado comp is more dynamic. Fling out individual letters or punctuations (!@#$%) to add more color to the comp. The words on the bottom need more visual pop. Perhaps making them larger and cropped off the page to give a sense of flying out into space or at the viewer.
ReplyDelete