For my first rough, I thought about how every day for me is pretty much the same, but once the day is over, I have many things that I can choose to do.
For my second rough, I thought of all of the things I have to do during the day and everything I have to remember to do. I am constantly doing something and rarely have any free time.
Your design makes sense for your concept and I enjoy the way you took the counter space and made it into another symbol in your first design. I feel like the all the plain lines that are attempting to show monotony could be gotten rid of, including the ones boxing in what you did for the day. However, I love the brackets that were used, maybe use those? Also make the other words larger and I’d also suggest trying a more expressive font face. One the second design I love how you filled the word “GO!” In with the thing that kept you busy, but again I might suggest a more interesting font. This one is good but I think it’s a little devoid of personality (the font, not the design) and using something (maybe with a serif?) might give it a real pop. I might also suggest making the filled in “GO!” larger. It would make it more insistent that you are really really busy.
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ReplyDeleteFor the first rough I think your idea is very well executed. I read the meaning exactly as you described it. I think the typeface is good; it works well and is simple like the work itself. I like the way sleeping text is at the top, how they are curving really gives you a sense that things are going smooth and then interrupted by this huge “WAKE UP” text that seems fly in diagonally across the page. I think the symbols within the “WAKE UP” text are also a good decision. Actually everything works well and there are only two things I would consider changing. First is the multiple horizontal lines that create the grid pattern. I think it might be more interesting if you repeated the text here but on a much smaller scale. You would get the same sense from far away but then have more to look at when you get closer. The other thing is the word “FREEDOM” is bothering me a little bit. It looks like the letters are actually stretched at the bottom, and while it works; I don’t think we are allowed to distort the letters so you might want to change this for the final.
ReplyDeleteThe second piece is visually interesting and works well but I was a little lost in the concept. I just see a big GO, and while I might get it if I really get in and look I think it may be asking too much of the viewer. Somebody will just see “GO”, not get the full concept, and move on. Because of that I would stick with the first piece.
I feel that for your first rough, since you are illustrating getting up in the mornings, it should be more animated. I want feel like you really don’t want to get up in the mornings. The same goes for the snoozes too. I want to get a feeling of you really hitting the snooze button three times.
ReplyDeleteI really do get a sense of sleeping right above the big boldface “wake up”. I love how it comes in at an angle interrupting things. I also enjoy how you used the counter space of the letters (including the period of the exclamation pt.) with different symbols. It really adds to the intensity of the alarm going off.
I also suggest that you use a more expressive font. A typeface with more personality will add to the feeling of your whole theme. I find the bottom part of this rough very interesting. I like how you attached your choices of freedom to the word freedom in the way that you did. Good job!
I think that with all the gray lines and the two confining the middle text that you might want to try using other text to make those lines? Or maybe use brackets. I do, however, feel the boredom associated with the intended monotony of the middle.
The second rough is well done. I think to accentuate the “all this stuff to do” feeling even more I suggest using another more expressive font. Also, maybe try to kern, lead and/ or track the lowercase go’s together. I feel that this rough is stronger than the first one overall in concept and composition. Try a different typeface to make it even stronger!