The first idea came really natural because it is the one thing I do everyday. I DRAW LINES. The other is my more productive when everything revolves around my iphone, but the alarm screams STUDY!...the least of my priorities. I used helvetica neue in both, switching between the lights, darks, extendeds, and various sizes.
I prefer rough 2 over rough 1.
ReplyDeleteWhile rough 1 is pretty cool it can be hard to read and too distracting. Some of the lines of text are so small they almost appear to be a pattern and it’s hard to tell they’re made from text (perhaps this was your intention though?). I would also recommend moving the second line of “I draw lines” over so the S and I don’t look like a dollar sign.
On concept 2 I would use a bolder or thicker font for the body of the iPhone. As it is right now the words can be a little hard to read. Also “study” kind of covers the top text and makes it hard to read. I would suggest having study be above the phone like a sound wave. Maybe you could also ad some words (such as parts of your day) into the middle of the screen of the iPhone and have it appear like a text message or email.
Visually, your first rough is interesting and pleasing to the eye. I like the patterned, patchwork style, there is a nice balance of positive and negative space, and the diagonals work nicely to move the viewer throughout your composition. Your choice of Helvetica is good because it is sans serif and therefore reinforces your theme of lines. Conceptually, I don’t connect “I draw lines” with the prompt, your daily schedule, but maybe if I knew you then I would understand! Maybe if you said ‘I draw lines all day, everyday’ or somehow introduced when or how often you draw lines. Also, I think when you over-lap the ‘i’ and ‘s’ it creates what looks like ‘$’ and is a little distracting.
ReplyDeleteI like the simplicity and cleanliness of your second rough; it ties in with Apple’s marketing theme and therefore the iPhone. I especially like the different values of gray but I feel like the iPhone could be a little darker to be easier to read. Helvetica works well for your second rough too because of the clean forms. Your concept is easy to understand and easy to relate to. Both were nicely done, good work!
I feel like the first one has a really busy on the go feel, all the different directions of the lines/phrases make my eyes wonder throughout the design. If that was what you intended then I think you achieved that well. The only thing is I didn’t understand is the “I draw lines” and how that pertained to a daily schedule. I mean I get you draw lines but all day is a little overboard. I was lost at first about what you meant until Newton told me. As for the second design, I get that it’s an alarm telling you to study or maybe someone telling you to. I think the iphone itself needs to be bolder/thinker font to emphasize the phone more. The way you integrated your schedule and routine in the iphone is clever. All I would say is that you need to work on the spacing of the different words, some of them overlap and/or touch.
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