Both images tell the story of a very extreme day. The morning started out with a tragedy, a good friend's good friend died in a car accident, and the night ended in a party I threw with my closest friends. The top image shows a car slamming into a brick wall and the hectic day trying to put it back together and just have a good time. The bottom shows my path throughout the day trying to make it to the party(safe house) at the end of the day, and meanwhile bombs are falling overhead.
As far as composition goes, I really like the first idea. I’m not really feeling the second. I do not understand the overall concept of it just by looking at it (while I can in the first). But in the first, I think the typeface you used works well. The composition is very dynamic and shows a lot of movement. However, I think the top part of the car should be thinner so it can have some variation of thickness between the wall and the wheels of the car, because I couldn’t really tell it was a car at first. Maybe you could add some windows somehow? An idea I was thinking about would be to have people made of letters and symbols to show more of a party rather than the static block of words on the right. Then the letters and words coming out of the wall would kind of look like confetti or party streamers. I’m not really getting the idea of “party” on the right side, other than by reading the words. But, good job!
ReplyDeleteThe first composition stands out to me more, I like that you made the blocks of text at a diagonal rather than vertically. Initially I did not recognize the car as a car, I only realized it after I read your description. I think if you used smaller text to shape it and showed a little more detail (maybe show the door of the car outlined in a bolder text?) The only other critique I would have for the first composition is the wall that forms “order” at the end of the day. Maybe a good solution to show more that the wall was crushed and then came back together would be to have more of a transition between the chaos of the words to the uniformity. Perhaps if you had the first part of the wall of words broken up and then gradually becoming solid.
ReplyDeleteThe second composition doesn’t initially stand out as much but I like the concept more than the first. If you had more “interference bombs” falling in the empty space of the upper half of the art board it would stand out more to me. Or even if you just added a bunch of bold text to form the ground the house and pathway are resting on. The house and bombs are very recognizable I just feel like the composition is a little empty.