I went two entirely separate ways on my concepts. The second is trying to convey a sense of peace and give a pictorial of a hammock between two trees, an ideal of a day, at this point anyway. The first is another fictional day, one where I hit my snooze and go back to sleep, for like the whole day:) I choose the font face on the second because of the stylized characters in the glyphs. I wanted to use the characters to create and actual pictorial. I used the typeface in the first because of it's ridged, bold nature. I wanted to convey the standardness of an alarm, and the monotone, boring, almost hatred of an alarm, and the reality of waking up. I also liked the repetition of the "z"s and how it gives a soothing flatline, like in the space in between, I fall back asleep.
Hey Jen, I really like the concept of the first rough. I like the center area because it is so crammed. It reminds me of waking up and falling back asleep, and how the snooze mode goes by so fast. The UP! Is like jolting awake. I would like to see some more zzzz’s lining the top and bottom portions, making a frame around the times and the snooze. I think that it would make more of an impact of deep sleep. It is kind of hard to read the snooze by the 630. Maybe it should read “hit the snooze button” followed by more z’s. I do like the bottom line. It’s like you are drifting back to sleep.
ReplyDeleteOn the second rough I think that the concept is great, however I would maybe like to see more wording in the tree. Maybe add some texture to the trunks with short vertical words and making the trunk a little thicker. I am not quite getting the little happy face guys. Over all I think that your first concept it the best, and I would like to see it pushed a little further.
I’m immediately drawn to the second composition over the first one. The trees and hammock is way better illustrated and way more interesting than the 6:55 UP one. You did a really good job with the hammock and illustrating the trees using just text. I would definitely go with the hammock over the first one. If you do chose to go with the first one, I would put more text and change the size, layout and perhaps orientation of the letterforms. Maybe make them italic and maybe rotate them. For the tree one, I cant tell by looking at it, but it looks like you mixed 2 different fonts. I don’t remember being able to use a font that had all the swash on it (in the trees). I would just double check the font and keep workin on it. I would clean up the trunk of the tree. It looks a little messy. But good work.
ReplyDeleteBoth concepts are successful. Font choice is right on for both.
ReplyDeleteIn your first draft you cannot read “snooze” behind the “6:55”. While others may disagree, I like the simplicity of it. The orientation could maybe spread out a little or have more “zzzzzz’s” at the top and bottom. I would love to have this day come true.
I think your second draft is more successful than your first. I like the picture portrayed and really like the little birds hanging out on top of the trees. I think the “leaves” in the tree could be worked on a little bit. I know it is stylized but maybe add some more “&” signs. The words makin up the hammock are a little hard to read, maybe make the type denser or just make the words larger. I get a sense of relaxation and serenity when looking at this one. I think you should go with this one to work on for your final.
Hey Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteRough One: This one is okay. The “zzz” are nicely set, but overall this one does not interest me. The “UP” overlaying on the “6:55” is more distracting than conceptual. The font choice is nice, however.
The second concept is more unique, and the use of the ampersand nicely conveys trees. However, for the trunk of the trees, I suggest keeping them aligned, not broken as you currently have them. What is that shape at the left end of the hammock? I don’t understand it. I also wonder if you could use lowercase v’s to convey grass. I’d like to see some more context in this one. Also, perhaps try spacing the trees farther apart so that you can increase the hammock size. Currently it’s difficult to read the words making up the hammock.
Definitely the second one is your best rough.
Jennifer
ReplyDeleteI like both of your compositions, they easy to get. I really enjoy your first concept of hitting the snooze button and going back to sleep. This is definitely a feeling everybody can relate to, I think it is comical and I really enjoy the randomness of the words and numbers, as far as size and space. I like the overlapping of the words and letters as well. The only suggestion that I would make is maybe make the words at the bottom a little bigger; they are a little hard to see.
I like the feel of the second composition with the trees and the hammock, I like that this coveys a good day where as most are bad days or very stressful days. The hammock is unique and creative and gives the feelings of relaxation. I would like to see more words, for instance, maybe a few scattered in the trees, or possibly just more of the same symbol in the tree, so they look heavier. also, the fact that the hammock starts to stray as it get "farther away" throws me off, I know you are trying to create the sense of space, but I would maybe add or a few more words or simply stretch them out a little more. I also suggest you align the tree trunks, to me it looks a little unfinished the way it is.
I feel myself leaning more towards the second composition it just catches my attention more. So I personally would go with this one for your final, but all in all good, unique ideas!
I like the overall concept of the first rough, I get that your annoyed at 6:55 when you have to wake up and the all of a sudden urgency of it. Maybe adding sleep at the end would help convey the all day sleeping thing because right now I get that you were sleeping, you hit snooze, sleep, snooze, sleep but I don’t get that it was an all day thing. If you’re ok with just leaving it at the urgency and suddenness of the snooze then defiantly go with what you have. It works and its simple yet effective.
ReplyDeleteOn the second rough I love the trees I think there adorable, and the hammock is cute simple and conveys the lazy calm feeling. The only thing I personally don’t care for is the rigidness in the trees at the base, I feel like it almost interrupts the lazy calm feeling of the overall composition. I enjoy the second one more it draws me in and makes me want to read and get the full story. Good job!
Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteI like the sleeping one best. The concept is really good—something that I feel most people can relate to, but I’m really 100% sold on the layout.
You’re definitely on to something, but it’s just not quite there yet. I think there could be a better typeface to use, maybe still Rockwell but thinner so that the overlapping—which I do really like—wouldn’t be so distracting. And the positioning of the words just doesn’t seem visually appealing. I think it wouldn’t hurt to make it look a little nicer, maybe make the placement seem a little more intentional, rather than seeming haphazardly placed.
For the trees, I feel as though the concept is a little cliché. I think the repetition of only two characters to make the trees is too boring and the fact that the trees are drawn in a childish, lollipop kind of way makes me less enthusiastic about this piece. The hammock looks nice, but it really isn’t enough to bring everything together.
The alarm comp is more dynamic. Technically you have no schedule because you feel back asleep. Perhaps place in italic and parenthesis something small in the corner about missing the day or that you didn't get anything accomplished.
ReplyDelete