I'm not finished with this yet, but because I need something to show before midnight, I'll put up what I have so far. The lines on the shoe are taking longer than anticipated... (Click image for detail)
The story behind this one is pretty simple: School is currently overwhelming me. I just feel like things just seem to continuously pile on my shoulders. The font I chose to use was Gill Sans simply because I like the appearance of the font. The difference between this rough and my other one is that this one is using text to create a visual, while the other is neat and organized.
This idea is pretty simple as well. Through font sizes, I'm graphically showing my energy levels throughout a typical school day. I chose Helvetica because of the clean-ness. I really like the idea, but visually, it isn't the most compelling image.
I'm open for suggestions if anyone has any :]
First post: I really enjoy it. You are working the white space very well. I am glad you chose to place the shoes at the bottom because it shows a nice perspective. I also like that you chose to keep the text around the shoes open. Maybe if you filled some in it would give a nice variety. Great job on the shoes!! I know you said you are still working on them.. but I feel like the bottom of the shoe needs to be a little bit more dense with some text showing at the edge.
ReplyDeleteSecond post: I enjoy it as well! And I disagree about it not being visually compelling because it is. The only thing that bothers me is that the right edge doesn’t seem to be an actual curve of a circle. Also “bus ride” needs to come out a bit. But compared to your first one that’s the one I think you should go with. It has more depth and more interesting things going on ☺
Your concepts look super clean and neat, however, just one technicality right off the get-go, the images are only allowed to be black and white. Your shades of grey look nice, but unfortunately, are not allowed. Moving on!, I’m assuming the shape you are eluding to is your torso? Like the shape of your shoulders? The image is unified all together and compositionally looks good. There is a weight to your feet you can tell, the flat bottoms give a sense of pressure. It looks like you have worked really hard on it. Nice concept.
ReplyDeleteI really like the second one, it looks like a profile view of the human eye that you see at an eye doctors office. I don’t know if you intended on that, but if you DID, it’s a great concept. I can kind of visualize all these things that your eye has to take in on a daily basis and the larger the font of the task, the more you have to use your eye to conceptualize it or study it. Interesting. Nice work.
@Autumnn
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the compliments! I'm actually going to make those edits that you suggested with the density of the shoe and the curve. As far as the curve, I lined up all the ends of the letters to a circle, but now that you mention it, it does need a bit of realigning. Thanks again for the constructive feedback! :]
@©jenbrownimaging,
Thanks for the input. Surprisingly, I didn't actually use grey in either. In the first one, I just used a 0.25 black stroke. I should've said this in my original post (which I might edit in), but it's supposed to be a bunch of text that has fallen on a person and all that you can see is the person's feet. Kind of like Wizard of Oz with the red slippers?
First post: I love this concept, I agree with your choice of font. It looks like your daily schedule has fallen on top of you! One suggestion: making a few of the words bolder may make them look heavier. I feel like the white with black strokes all over kind of makes the words float a bit. The shoes look great. I would make the bottom a bit more dense though. I’m sure when you are finished this piece will look awesome!
ReplyDeleteSecond post: I like the simplicity. I really do get the sense of high and low energy, and I’m sure most people can identify with you. Because this piece is so simple, I like that you chose to create an arch rather than going straight down the border. It adds just enough complexity, which allows the rest to be so simple. Suggestion: I do feel like the scale could be a bit more gradual at the bottom.
The imagery of the shoes is amazing in this, bravo! However, I’m having trouble understanding what exactly the shoes mean in the composition. I would also consider using filled text, having them with a stroke lightens the face of the text, making it not very heavy at all, and if you are going to an overwhelming feeling, that defeats the purpose. ☺ I would also explore the boundaries of the canvas, having the words come from all different directions off the page…anything to add to the feeling of being swarmed by everything.
ReplyDeleteI’ve fallen in love with your second one. Although be it simple, there is so much movement, like shuffling through an iPod or something. I would watch your leading though, some word are clipping. I would also consider the weight of your words; I think it would add to the energy, or lack thereof, of the activities. Very nice compositions though, I’m excited to see how they turn out!
This is by far my favorite, maybe because I collect nikes im not sure, but the shoes look amazing. They’re very clean and the angle you achieved from purely font is terrific. Ill be honest I don’t see why the bottom of the shoes say I need help, maybe because on the blog its small and when I blow it up its to blurry to read the type on the shoes, but it does convey the point that your swamped and apparently looking for someone to help you out. I like the positioning of all the type towards the bottom and the way the letters are arranged, overall great job!
ReplyDeleteOn the second rough I didn’t get that it was your energy level until I read your post, its hard to compare this one when the first one was done so nicely lol but the energy level thing is a good idea if you can convey it a little better.
Yo Alan, (what's up man?)
ReplyDeleteHonestly I like the second one more. It’s super simple, but it just looks cool with the curve on the right side and the changing font size. It makes me think of the Death Star. Or maybe I’m just a sucker for Helvetica…
But don’t get me wrong: the first one isn’t bad at all, and with you not being finished, it’s hard to say. I think the text should probably be solid instead of stroked, but other than that it’s a good start. (And the shoes are really cool.) Definitely a good concept and it’s effective at showing what you want it to show.
I say, keep working on this and get it how you want it, but if you get it finished and you’re still not exactly feeling it, then your second rough is still really cool and simple and visually striking. Either way, I think they’ve both got something good to bring to the table.
Alan,
ReplyDeleteUpon the initial view, I was very impressed with how well you were able to illustrate the shoes in this. I think you should finish the upper part of the shoe on the right (though I think you said you were going to do that.) While the shoes are great, the text above needs some work. The letters look as if they were placed on the composition to form the words, without much attention being paid to the entire text layout. I would tweak the paths that you are typing on so that there is better spacing between each word, and that there is a slightly more unified look to it. I would suggest NOT breaking up the words “textbook”, “homework”, and “tests” the way that you do, for I’m confused on the reason to why you did this. I would rather see all the text above resemble the style you have going with the shoes. Maybe you could play with the words not being white with a black outline…or only doing a few words in that style and doing the rest in black. You could also make better use of all the space that rests above the shoes. Over all, I think it’s almost there, and with some minor adjustments on the text above the shoes, it would be a really interesting and solid composition.
As for the second one, although i think it's good, it seems slightly weaker in my opinion. The first one is more interesting, mainly because of the awesome illustration of the shoes. I do like the use of varying type size in this one. It creates a lot of movement and depth, but I would try to adjust the lines “more design seminar” and “even more poster design.” I think that because those lines stick out the way they do, it looks unbalanced.
Go with the shoes. You need heavier things on you. Fill in the words not stroke them to make them feel more brick or 2x4 like. More piles of words on top. Dense layers to give weight! Think of dirt (there should be no pockets of air)
ReplyDelete