Both daily schedules are centered around my job, the first schedule is my Wednesday mornings at Starbucks. The schedule itself loops around the coffee cups, and cup is constructed out of a description from drinks i sell the most. The second is my Saturdays at my second job Underground Games, its pretty straight forward, illustrated the schedule like it where a street fighter command list.
Personally I prefer the first (street fighter) comp over the second comp. I don’t feel like the second composition captures me as effectively as the first one. I found myself wondering what the cup forms were and at first they looked like some sort of cup with frothy beer on top and then I realized they were coffee cups once I read your description. I think if you really wanted to go with the coffee one, it would be more effective if you made some of the words bigger than the rest to emphasize certain aspects of your day at work. I think the concept is great though. The first comp jumps out at me, and it is more playful. I like how you created the controller out of the “I” and “g” (that is a ‘g’ right?), and also how you created the line of text as the cord leading to the screen. Also, street fighter is awesome so you’ve got me there. It is neat and organized and I think it flows very well. I don’t really see much that needs to be changed, good job.
ReplyDeleteHey there Chris,
ReplyDeleteBoth of these comps have their merits, and I can see strong finals coming out of each with some tweaks.
For the Starbucks comp, I really like the concept and that you chose to go with the cups, however, you’re cheating with the lines! Not a big problem though, all I would do is use the Type on a Path tool. I would simply use the type of drink repeated over and over around the path. I wish I could read what was being said in the shading, it’s my favorite part of the entire piece. I wish I could see more of cups shaded with words; this would almost negate entirely, the need for the outlines. Your schedule needs some work, I see some words clipping on the path, I would just clean it up a bit, also my eye kind of breaks off the path with the break in the sentence. I say go with this one.
The video games store is really fun. I got really excited with the arrows next to “wake up.” I think it would be awesome to see button combos next to each different part of your day. Watch your spelling as well. ;) Tournament is misspelled. This composition is good right now, but I think if you flesh out the imagery, you can make it a lot more successful.
I just want to clear up some confusion with the coffee cups those aren't lines its type promise, i just made it really small, sorry
ReplyDeleteChris,
ReplyDeleteOn the first: pretty cool video game theme. I like the originality. And it looks pretty good too, with the braces making the system and the controller being connected to the day, as if you could control your day that way.
I like it a lot and there’s not too much I would change. Perhaps the wire on the controller is a little awkwardly placed. Think of how the wire would come out of the controller and curl around a little more. Also there’s a typo in that line of text, but that’s not what this is really about. The arrows in the command list look a little funky too. Maybe they could be a little bigger or aligned a little better. Otherwise, it’s really cool.
For the second: It looks real good, but I think the idea is just a little boring. Also I don’t think you’re allowed to use those lines for the cups, but if you could get enough text to make it work, that would probably look pretty cool.
Either way, I suggest going with the first idea, just because it is way more unique and I think it looks really cool as a composition, the way it’s angled and cropped. The cups don’t really have much character, but the video game one is full of it.
Christopher,
ReplyDeleteI like this first composition. I think that the brackets imitating the game consol was a little confusing at first, I wasn’t sure what it was…but I think the layout is nice. The “a” button definitely completes it and ads a good touch. I think that the controller should be raised into the composition a little more…I’m not sure if I am a fan of it being cut-off like that. But over all, I think it’s solid.
For the second one, do the coffee lids seem to being doing some sort of funky shifting to the left? I think it’s trying to look like the lid is pulled off a little and exposing coffee… would either leave the lids off or have steam coming from the coffee part. I like how you used text to create shading, which really makes it obvious that those are paper coffee cups. However, I think that the first one is more striking.
At this point the game controller one has more dynamic objects. The coffee one is pretty stagnant. That one could be better if that had more visual hierarchy and perspective (larger cup in the foreground and smaller cup in the background to give depth). The controller commands is a unique metaphor. I would continue with that one. It is not too easy to follow now because you haven't finished the commands. I think once those are done it should be easier to follow. Make sure you spell check! Be careful of cutting off corners (like the bottom right). The angled controller is good but crop it in a better way within the square.
ReplyDelete