I work at Target, so I was trying to play off the whole Target bullseye logo. The bold rings represent the things I actually say or do work, while the lighter ones represent what I'm thinking or feeling while I'm at work.
For my second composition I explain a day in my life that started off as a normal until I took my brother, Andrew, to hockey practice and got knocked out by a hockey puck. And the puck just happened to be going about 90 mph. The lighter font reprsents the things I would do on a normal day, but didn't get to because I was at the hospital with a concussion.
Rachel, I like the story of the first composition, and the typeface that you chose. I see that you tried to recreate the Target logo but I think is not there yet. Maybe if you fill out the center circle with words and have more space between the center circle and the last four larger circles. I think this will make your composition look more like the target logo if that’s what you really try to convey. And what I like your second composition is the different styles and type sizes you used. Also I like the hockey puck, it makes the composition more interesting. I don’t think you need white space in the left. I suggest adding more words in the white space or adjusting your design to fill area. I like the second composition better than the first one because is more unique and more appealing to the viewer.
ReplyDeleteFor your first rough I love the text you are using and the concept. I think there needs to be some spaces between the center circle and the outer circle to look more like the target logo. The only problem with these (both roughs) is we can’t use grey. I know that totally sucks because it really works for your composition BUT you could try using a thin or ultra light style for the things you think about and increase the size and boldness of the things you actually do. I really like this concept though. For the second rough I really like the concept and composition. Like I said about the grey for the first rough, try doing the same for the second. I like the text illustration and it really works for this piece because it’s subtle and connected. I can’t decide on the white space though. I like it but then I sometimes feel like the composition needs to be shifted over to fill it. Other than that I think you have two strong roughs and concepts.
ReplyDeleteComp 1: I used to work at Target so I fully understand the frustration from customers there. If I didn’t know it was about target I don’t think I would associate it as looking like a target. Maybe you should space out the lines a little more to have the white/ red space more emphasized.
ReplyDeleteComp 2: This is a great idea. But if you are emphasizing the fact that you got hit by a hockey puck then you need to make the line with hockey practice larger. Then you need to make the beginning smaller or less bold. I like how the last part is faded but maybe you need to write how instead you went to the hospital because without you telling me you went there I didn’t know that’s why those were faded. Maybe you could show that the puck is flying more to emphasize how it is going so fast.
The target logo is really cool, but it looks like a black hole with a vanishing point. you can use smaller, lighter text to create the middle hole or maybe darken the txt. for now it is like being sucked into the world of retail and i don't blame because i have also worked in retail. the second is kinda funny, but to me, it doesn't give the feeling of being knocked out with a puck. maybe you can add some text behind the puck to give it feeling of movement. or you enlarge the puck or try to shape it like a big "90" smacking someone in the face. since you got hit in the face, maybe have a big face with your day in smaller text then have the puck crashing into the face.
ReplyDeleteI like the concept that you are trying to portray but I think it’s been done too many times. Maybe if you cleaned up the Target Logo a little bit more; placed everything in a dark bold placed more space between the circles to show that empty space your might have it. I wonder if you couldn’t just go with “Spot” made out of type and filled the Target dog up with your day.
ReplyDeleteYour second rough was actually pretty funny and I thought it was pretty inventive. I kinda want to see you make a face made of your type being hit by this or your regular day being shattered like glass by being hit by this one. I actually like where your taking this and even enjoy your use of type. Please note I believe Newton said that use of grey tones is a “no,no”.
Your first composition is definitely stronger than the second one. I love the idea of the target logo design. It was funny to read all of your thoughts while you are at work, especially how you emphasized how you don’t speak Spanish, and reading the magazines in line. I also agree with the others that you need to make more space in between the lines to make the logo easier to see.
ReplyDeleteFor your second composition, you need to show that you ended up in the hospital somehow, because right now you just see the hockey puck as out of place. It does not show that you didn’t finish your schedule, and it doesn’t show that you were hit by the puck. I was only able to tell what was going on in the composition by reading your explanation. Maybe you could get rid of the part you wrote after you got hit and just put “…and then I ended up in the hospital” or something of the sort.
I like both compositions a lot, they definitely tell a story.
ReplyDeleteI think your first design is very funny. It may need a little tweaking to get the overall shape you are going for, but I like the bold and gray juxtaposition of what you're thinking vs. what you're saying.
I like how the hockey puck interrupts your second design and maybe you could push this further so that it really comes across that you couldn't do the things you were expecting to do that day. Overall, great ideas!
Work on the target one more. Take a look a Garcia's record to get circular density in your comp. No grays use type weight to show dark and light.
ReplyDelete