The feeling of being completely dumbfounded is what I'm trying to convey in the above, and below I'm trying to convey the feeling of excitement. I selected the sans-serif font because it seems to have more impact. The differences kind of go without saying, mainly, one was a good experience, one was bad.
First post: The overall idea is okay and I kind of get the message. My first thought is that “hydro plane” is leaping up and about to ride down the road. To keep the flow of the road receding into space I feel like the “and then” need to get smaller as it goes on. Also the small text on the left side should ride along the thick black line instead of going into it. Get rid of the “trees”
ReplyDeleteSecond post: I really like it! I love the stage idea and the perspective you chose. What you wrote around the box is interesting too. Maybe try moving the band names up a little like they are “sound waves” coming off the stage. The quotes above ACL are a little awkward, but I like them. Try moving them around to where they fit more with ACL. Definitely go with the second post ☺
I’m having trouble reading what the first composition says, and I don’t understand why the car is flying in the air. I think it might be stronger if it looks like it’s following the “and then…” instead of how now it is read before. I don’t understand the yen symbols, what their purpose is in the comp. The text looks gray, although maybe it just looks that way because it’s small. I think you should try to make the text about your day more full and not repetitive. I don’t think repetition is helping get your point across. Other than that, I think the san-serif font is a good choice for making it playful and fun.
ReplyDeleteOn the second one I like the stage, except I also don’t think the repetition is necessary. I don’t really like the text that makes up the top part of the stage either, unless that is for a reason. It doesn’t go with the rest, since it’s not a full sentence. Work on the leading also, to make it consistent around the stage. On the bottom part you say there were a lot of people, but your crowd doesn’t reflect that. It needs way more people.
I really like the first one. The car made out of the words hydroplane was a good idea. I also like the yen trees. The grass made of the same sentence over and over again I’m not a huge fan of. I LIKE the grass, but I think that if it was the whole story written out it would be more effective, maybe about what happened, or how long it had been raining, or the aftermath, just more details. I really like the cartoony feel of the image. The second one I have no idea what is going on.. I assume it has to do with ACL music festival, but other than that I don’t understand. Is it a stage maybe? If so I think you need to add more stage details, because it looks a lot like a box or a frame. Maybe flip the quotes so they are reversed and facing inwards.
ReplyDeleteComp 1: The overall feel of the comp is interesting and kinda creepy at the same time. It makes me wonder what happened and makes me wanna read further to see what it is. You did a good job illustrating the road and the smaller text accents the larger text. I would try changing some of the text around the hydroplane because it’s a bit hard to read. Im also not sure how the strange Y’s play into it. But good job.
ReplyDeleteComp 2: My initial thought was a movie theater, but upon further inspection I can see its Austin City Limits and a stage. ACL is an awesome idea and you chose some good bands to illustrate it. The whole comp works very well together and I would pursue this one if I were you. I might try some more text or glyphs on stage to give it a luder feel.
Mark, very interesting concepts. It took me a while to understand the message in the first one, but after reading it, I get it. My suggestion would be to not merge the text with the thick line running through the middle, but perhaps play with the point size and have it get smaller as it runs into the horizon. One other thing would be the “and then…” text, which seems to be unattached to the rest of the composition. Maybe if it would follow the center of the road and slightly less bold, it would tie in a bit better. The trees are a nice touch. I would probably scale them to different sizes to give the overall design a bit of depth.
ReplyDeleteYour second design really brings back memories. The organization of the rows around “ACL” really create this sense of amplification and visually create a stage for the main event. I would have liked the names of the bands to be in the middle and perhaps “ACL” hovering above the stage, but this arrangement works well. Maybe moving the band names would give you more room to play with the words in the audience. These could be jumbled up and really congested, just like it was at the event. Great job on capturing all that chaos. Go with the second!
I like the idea of the hydroplane. It seems though maybe the O’s on the top portion of the car are not needed. I feel like the perspective is off. Over all though the font you used works really well. The area of the road needs to be defined more. Maybe making the lines that actually line the road stand out a little more would help. You could line the road with thick lines like you did the hill. Perhaps incorporating the ‘and then” into the center stripe could help the flow of things. It seems to just be hanging out there. Overall it’s a really fun concept, even though it was not fun at the time I am sure.:)
ReplyDeleteI get the concept of the stage, and the crowd. I think this is pretty clever. The stage needs something else though. Maybe you could incorporate some “lights”, or speakers, and some depth. I would like to see a little more at the top. It seems bottom heavy. The top of the stage should have the same line weight as the bottom. I like your ideas though. They are both original. Not sure which one I like more, you should draw straws.
The hydroplane one is the more successful of the two. The perspective of the car needs work. The wheels inside the word is a bit sloppy. Scale the words to show depth and distance of the car sliding. Have other words or symbols fly off the car as it flies. That will give it a better sense of losing control.
ReplyDelete