I decided to make my rough around the schedule I had while I was studying abroad in Japan. Using the trains and public transportation was a huge part of my experience, so I have font make up a train and the letters space out towards the end to add movement. I used Gills sans because it's very fun. I'm actually not sure how the font is working within the "body". I'm hoping it doesn't seem too smashed in.
I've had to wear glasses since the 3rd grade. Putting on my glasses has been such an integral part of my life. This schedule includes when I first wake up and everything is blurry and hard to see. Once I put on my glasses, everything comes into focus and organized. I used the entire repertoire of fonts. I want to make sure everything is still legible but gets the point of how I feel without my glasses across.
Idea One: I love this idea! Ok, now I would definitely put some space between the times on the front of the train. Also, the front top of the train could use maybe a slight curve. That would make it look a little more aerodynamic. Perhaps for the railroad ties on the bottom you could put the text inside the ties and make them white so the text is visible. Otherwise, great concept.
ReplyDeleteIdea Two: Good concept. There is one major problem. You are supposed to use only one font family. Also, work with the composition. I think it could use a little tweaking. Perhaps the smaller text could be a little bigger. I think you could find enough variation while using the same font family. Just mess with the size, italic, bold, and rotation of the letters. I think messing with the size of the text in general will help the composition not look so top heavy.
The first idea with the train is my favorite.
Jeannette, I like the first rough better than the second one. But I think you need to work a little more in the design because when I saw the first rough I thought that the train was a roller skate. Maybe you should create a few windows with the words. Have you try a serif font? I think that the font you chose is working. Also, the tracking of the letter needs to be adjust because there is too much space in between them. The second one has a good concept and I like how you manipulated the words but I think we can only one typeface family.
ReplyDeleteThe concepts you have here are interesting. I think that the train one is interesting and the movement you have created is very necessary. I do feel that maybe you could have a bit more movement towards the right side of the frame. You could try italics or try making each line a bit smaller so you can stretch the text out a bit more. I like how you put the daytime stuff on the train and the evening stuff below on the tracks - it makes me feel that nightfall has come. The last wheel on the train on the right side is a little distracting. I think you should just continue the black bar for 6 pm across the screen and crop that shape like you did all the other “wheels”. So, just a few minor tweaks and I think this comp could be very effective.
ReplyDeleteI was confused by the second composition before I read your description. But now that I have read your description I really like the concept. I feel it would be more effective if you could somehow make the text that follows you putting your glasses on seem like it is coming into focus. Right now I just feel like it is just there, hanging out and not doing much.
First comp: If you are not meaning for the fonts to look so “smashed in” I would try to space them out a bit more. if it is not intentional, I think you could make it look a bit more neat there. Maybe adding italics to your font can help express movement. Is the bottom part meant to be train tracks? It looks kind of weird to me. I think with some more work and playing around, this imagery could look really cool.
ReplyDeleteSecond comp: I wear glasses too, this comp makes me think about how I see things when i have them off. But I only really understood it after I read your paragraph. Maybe for some of the letters you can make the stroke super light so that it almost looks blurry and distant to better express not being able to see.
Overall, both comps have the potential to get better, I would work on both a bit more before deciding which to go with.
Comp 1: I like the train and its association with your experiences in Japan. I am having a little trouble following the times so maybe find a way to make them flow better. Yes the text feels squished and I don’t like how the spacing between the letters gets bigger as you go to the right. But if you keep it then maybe make sure that train, Karoke, and ramen shop are also spaced the same way. So make the all equally spaced in the same places. Also don’t squish the times on the train up next to the front of the train.
ReplyDeleteComp 2: Having to also wear glasses I understand where you are coming from. Make sure you use font from the same family though. Maybe you could play with the shape of glasses some how.
Your first rough is really a great use of type. You made the mono-rail – is that what it’s called? I want to see more of that in there- like windows or even being able to see people through the windows. When I first glanced at it I thought it was a roller skate but that’s just me. I don’t understand how the side slashes are working in with the train. Maybe if you make them poles that hold up the railway line or people waiting at the station? I don’t think they work with your composition right now.
ReplyDeleteThe second rough was well…rough for me to understand at first but after looking at it several times it became clear to me what the concept was. I did not realize that it was actual words written there I thought you just jumbled up letters. I don’t think you need to make them large and jumbled to get across that your vision is bad. I think you should go a different route to show fuzziness or being out of focus.
Great concepts! I really want to see how the train turns out.
I like both of your ideas, but I think your train needs some work. I think you need to edit it to make it look a little more train-like, I also thought it was a roller skate. Also, I think the tracks you created at the bottom aren't necessary, or if you would like them to be there, put the rest of your schedule inside the train, because for some reason it looks too separate and doesn't work with the composition.
ReplyDeleteI really love your second idea. True you can only use one font family, but I still think you can get your idea across. Maybe you could create a glasses visual with some O's or something to get your point across more strongly.
The train is difficult to read. It looks kind of like a roller skate. Maybe you should add windows. Make a smaller but longer train. The schedule could take up several cars. Make sure you have the last car have letters spaced to make it look like it's moving.
ReplyDelete