My day starts out as an average day of problem solving for me (my usual Saturday) and ends with my reward, and the highlight of my day which was going to see Cirque du Soleil's performance of Allegria. I wanted to convey the contrast between my normal day full of crap to do with my fun evening. I had a different layout than this one, but it was shot down. I believe that the other better exemplifies what MY day was like, but without room for artistic interpretation and staying within certain parameters...
The font that I chose was Goudy Old Style, which my computer at home doesn't have, so when I saved it, it saved as Myriad. I had another layout that I lost completely when I was working on it and my computer froze. You can image my frustration I'm sure. So to meet this deadline there are two slightly different versions of the same one...bad night...
Well, I’d really like to see the composition as intended with correct fonts and whatnot. Not to trying to lecture or anything, but definitely save multiple versions of the same project so that you have a place to start from if this situation were to happen again. Trust me, I’ve had the same problem before and it is probably one of the worst feelings ever! Another thing, the red check is breaking the black and white rule. Between these two similar compositions, I like the first one a little better because of what’s going on in the top portion. I also think there is a better way to show that you enjoyed Allegria than to just make it the biggest font size. Try messing with multiple font sizes, maybe a different family within the type face, or maybe make it not so horizontal? You’re definitely getting there though!
ReplyDeleteMorris,
ReplyDeleteIt’s always tough when things go wrong. I know, happened to me yesterday. I would really like to see the Goudy Old Style version. I think it would make the roughs come across differently. I like the fact that your day is made up like a huge math problem. I think on “5”, paycheck should be brought a little closer to the equal sign and centered in Illustrator. I like the idea on rough 1 where “cirque du soliel” is on a semicircle type path. “Soliel” means sun and I think putting it on a rounded type path brings out the meaning nicely. Then I like on rough 2 where the “a” in allegria is huge and makes it look like a grade. Maybe you could combine those two things in one composition. Also, instead of writing “99% of the day” maybe you could put in 9/10 or something. I think that might be worth trying. I really like your composition, it’s creative and different from what I’ve seen thus far.
Annie, interesting concept. I would like to see the original design as well and see how the composition changes with a different font. Its very linear and well organized, although a bit more variety in the weight of the font might have given it a better sense of progression through the day. The use of different point sizes in the first one work very well, but lining up the lines of text with the numbering might tighten things up and organize the design a bit more effectively. I really like the playfulness of the text at the very bottom, using the Cirque du Soleil as the goal for all your efforts. One thing that I will definitely mention, which I am sure has been repeated, is the use of color in the designs. It breaks the black and white rule, but is something that can be easily corrected, although I understand the idea behind its use. Good job.
ReplyDeleteAnn , I really enjoy that the stage literally looks like a math test, the header is a nice touch. Honestly if you can swing it would be a good idea to construct a full exam to get the full effect. Also adding a little spacing in between each wouldn’t hurt either, just so it flows easier with the breaks. Also the “didn’t get that right..” doesn’t translate at all, a suggestion would be add more equations that are incorrect or mark off some of the existing ones. Last, the Cirques du Soliel’s Allegria seems disattached from rest of the composition, try making it seem more like a letter grade or the total number of points.
ReplyDeleteAnn,
ReplyDeleteCool idea. The math part is pretty cool too. It’s hard to critique this without seeing it in the right font and all. I think all you really need to do is get all the alignment and spacing even and clean, which it probably was when it was in the right font.
I like the second one best, because of the way the top part is all aligned. All you have to do is get the bottom half to compliment it so that the composition flows together. As of now it kind of seems like two separate pieces that were just placed together.
Looks good though, given the circumstances.
Also I think Alegria has only one L.
First rough: I wish I could have seen both roughs with the original font that you had intended on using. I really like the parts that you played with the font but the red check marks will have to go (Newton Rule). Since the performance was your main point I think you need to play around with that more. Right now it’s just sitting there and not really making a statement to me. It should portray more excitement about going to the show.
ReplyDeleteSecond Rough: This one is much better than the top one. Your getting across the worksheet concept much better. I don’t think you had to make the font so huge on the “Circque du Soliel’s Allegria” though. Maybe if you made it like a stamp that a kid gets on his paper with the words running around the “A” might help it out some more. I look forward to seeing how this one turns out.
i prefer the first rough because it is more organized and concise. however, when i first saw the check mark i thought it was school grade. both designs are neat and organized, but the "problem" set on the second could be bigger. keep the bending text next to A because it leads the eye to the main design. i can see this composition working with serifs fonts, too. it also seems like your day is disorganized; mine is too. try something with your original font, "mess up" your text and have it leading to the circque du soliel area. please do away with the red mark. it does not match with the work and distracts the viewer. i like this piece and i think it has a lot of potential.
ReplyDeleteAnn, I still say play up the whole math idea. The Allegria part doesn't work well in the comp. If you want to do the b&w split like the "hollywood" comp go for it.
ReplyDelete