my first comp. is explaining how I dislike walking everywhere around campus, and wishing there was more parking spaces. For this one I did a map design showing how much i feel like I'm walking and how it feels like it takes up most of my day. I also showed some of the places I stop during the day. My second comp. is showing how much I hate mornings. When I wake up I'm usually in a bad mood and have a lot of thoughts going on in my head. To show this I just put a bunch of letters together overlapping each other with some coming out of the dark cloud where you can read some of my thoughts. With both comp. I used the typeface Myriad Pro. I used it because it was simple, bold, and didn't take away from the design. The designs are different because one is showing my day of walking, while the other represents my morning. I am a bit stuck on if my designs are successful or not so I would enjoy ideas from others.
I enjoy your first rough and the idea of mapping out your route through campus, but I think if you found a map of the school, and made your composition more “map” like would have more emphasis. The second rough seems like you spent a more time on and I get the emotion that you’re trying to convey that you hate mornings, but if you made the “Great! It’s Raining!” look like it was actually raining with the use of glyphs would give the viewer a more visual perspective. Overall, I think you should work on the first one, because you can do a lot with a map. I suggest you find a campus map, turn down the opacity level to guide you, use more glyphs, and maybe look into another font choice. You could definitely use glyphs and small font to create more of a landscape and the horrible hills that we have to walk up everyday!
ReplyDeleteThe first one worked pretty well, and I can definitely understand the frustration in having to walk all over the place. I enjoyed the way that the fonts thickness varied from one place one the map to another, it really helped keep the piece interesting. The one thing I would have to mention is that the words in the top right get a little muddied… instead of twirling the words into an “S” in the top right try putting “have, to and walk” on the right edge rather than “much and so”. It still reads well like you have it, but this might make it a little bit more understandable –just in case-.
ReplyDeleteAs for the second one I think it is a very accurate representation of how mornings feel, unfortunately. The cluttered and black center reminds of a storm cloud, rather cheesy I know, but it does. I would suggest getting rid of the large “M” in the bottom, not only is it distracting but I would venture to say that it hurts the composition. Besides that I really like this piece, it is easy to understand and fun to look at.
I really enjoy the concept of your first rough. I like the fact you made it go all around the page but I do wish you included some of the places you stopped at. Maybe make it more map-like instead of just a line and words around a page. Definitely work on the top right corner though, it’s getting cluttered a bit. Maybe just move “much” down a little.
ReplyDeleteYour second rough is also good. I want to see more space being taken up though. Add in some other thoughts you’ve had because some areas are cluttered like they should be and some are too spaced out. Try and make “I hate mornings” more pronounced, because for a while, I wanted to read a lot of the other phrases. I also agree that you could make the raining statement more visual and exciting. Also, the M at the bottom is distracting and couldn’t pinpoint what it went with.
Good luck!
Walking on this campus does suck, however you do get exercise and its on a hill. ANYWAYS…I thought the first comp. was a little out there. It has the constructivism feel…which I like. Maybe clean it up a little more and add more glyphs and dingbats. Try adding more bold and thin words. I like the orientation of the words but you should try ordering the way the words go more. When I saw this for the first time, I noticed the “x” right away before anything else. Change the order around.
ReplyDeleteI like your second composition better. I hate mornings, too!! You should add more craziness to the composition. Keep making words run off the center image as it may add a little more spunk to it. Maybe add sound effects, too! Good stuff.
Sarah, out of your two roughs your map has more flow and potential, its easy to relate, and I rather enjoy the slow build up of frustration. But, the piece could be stronger if you worked in correspondence with an actually map so the viewer can fully understands where the frustration is coming form. Second, switching the stroke weight between the destination marker and destination, make the destination stand out more than the marker so it’s not lost in the attempted translation.
ReplyDeleteComp 1: I think you need to put more emphasis on the start of your sentence so we know where to start. I love the map idea and I immediately knew it was about walking around campus. Maybe instead of using lines to go to the next part you could somehow use text to make footprints to emphasize the walking or at least in some parts. I text of think the places you stop need to be just a bit bigger.
ReplyDeleteComp 2: I feel your anger and frustration of mornings when I look at this, great! I like how it is simple in what you are doing. I think you should just have “I hate mornings” in the could and have the other lines floating outside of it (so don’t have “its way to early” and the rest of “I am so tired” inside the cloud.) You said you used a bunch of letters to make the could but I only see M’s.
I like treasure maps too. But I think you have it the wrong way because my eye was drawn to the bold words first and so I read it backwards. That’s made me frustrated that I looked at it again to figure it out. In a way I wish your font was more playful to show all the hills and valleys one must travel to find the ever elusive parking spot. The dash lines really add character to what your saying but I think you put in too much “X’s” . Keep working on this one. I think it could be really funny if you added water and a crocodile or some other trap that people who explore run into.
ReplyDelete2nd Rough: The black cloud of doom is a pretty interesting concept but I think you should place it lower to show how low you feel about mornings. And the large bold line at the bottom is taking away from your dark cloud so maybe you should try to unbold that one. Since it is a black cloud why not rain down all that type instead of have it go all over the place? Maybe rain down on a type person. Other than that I really like the concept of this rough and look forward to what you do with it.
Go with the map. It is difficult to know where to start. Indicate that better. Also, have more transitional scale. The middle portion of your journey seems to be the same size. Indicate the end point of your journey.
ReplyDelete