The first one is going to be about the orchid trees I grew up with. This rough is pretty jumbled up at the moment because I ran out of time to make it any better. It's also just filled with filler text at the moment too.This second one is about our recent snow day and enjoying some hot chocolate.
These are both nice, but the one that catches my eye most is definitely the orchid one, the orchid is placed well on the picture plane and it is a nice composition, it has a sense of depth that you could expand upon even further. It sounds like you have plans to build on it, and I think you are going in the right direction. I say keep it up, see if you can keep building it up without losing that lightness, or softness that it has right now.
ReplyDeleteI like the coffee mugs composition and the steam is nice and could stay as is, but the coffee mug seems to be just floating in space, perhaps you could use some words to make a shadow at its base, and build up the mug more so that it doesn’t disappear into the background, don’t touch the stream though…I like that!
I like the orchid — it’s more original and personal than the image of the cup, especially if growing up around the orchids helped form how you act today. I would suggest that you keep the orchid shape, but when you replace the filler text you could write about a day you spent around the orchids, describing the scenery or how you interact with the flowers. Or since it was from your childhood you could describe memories of the orchids or something in your current daily activity that would make you think of them — just a bit more verisimilitude. Also, it might help to use different weights of the font and with introducing variations of size it could create more of a shaded and three-dimensional appearance to the flower, thereby making it more easily distinguishable to the viewer as well and differentiating it from being interpreted as just another flower, as oppose to an orchid.
ReplyDeleteThe idea and the visual aspect for both of these is really, really cool. I love text wrap and how you can make images out of it. It’s very pleasing to the eye when you see an image and realize that you have to look closer to see the details. Especially the second one with the story of the snow day, which was very memorable. I would say though, instead of putting steam where the steam is and hot where it would be hot, elaborate more on that day. Explain that moment in as many words as you can so people can get a more in-depth idea of how you felt and what you did. I love the short story but I think it needs more. The same thing on the first orchid flower. I love the design, but show how the orchid makes you feel or how it relates to your daily schedule. Good start.
ReplyDeleteThe first one is fantastic, out of the roughs I have seen so far it is definitely the first that looks like something, almost like a stippled drawing rather than a flower made of type. It is really quite impressive, but it lacks a little bit of character. I wish that you had told your story in your piece, as it is I just see a pretty flower and wouldn’t really know why you chose this piece if it wasn’t accompanied by your description. If you could squeeze a bit of the story in to the petals the same way you did with your coffee cup this would be perfect, it is already so great, just try and show –why- ya chose to spend so much time making it look so good.
ReplyDeleteThe coffee cup is both stylish and descriptive. The more rigid strokes of the cup compliment the carefree, curving lines of the steam. The way you have chosen to put the story in the bottom of the cup reminds me, vaguely, of the reflection or shine that would naturally wrap around the cup. I am sure you don’t need to me say it but ill throw it out there anyways, it is a little off center, the cup carries more weight so you may want to think about moving the composition over to the right about half an inch or so.
I like both of these designs, how you created images out of words.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of the orchid, but if the trees were something you grew up around I think you should include details of your childhood, or why the orchid trees were important to you. I think the orchid is placed well in the space provided and it does look like a flower. It might be difficult to read most of the words that make up the flower except for the big sections of horizontal print. You could choose the most important things to display in these areas.
I really like this image. I think the explanation inside the cup is nice. I like that you spaced out the word “last” to show that it will last. I’m not sure about just leaving the other words that make up the image as “hot”, “cocoa” and “steam”. I don’t know if you were planning on changing them, they do create an image but they don’t tell us about your day as much as the short paragraph in the cup.
I think your first composition is much stronger than your second one. You really get the feeling of chaos and stress from the overlapping packed words. I also like the fact that the G is sticking off the page, adds some interest and weight to it. Also the mass of words looks like water about to overflow, which is nice. Perhaps make the entire thing a little bigger to take up more room on the page.
ReplyDeleteOn your second one I think the words need to be a little farther from the bottom of the tab, they are a little too close and it’s a little distracting. Maybe if you had more tabs it would look more chaotic and stressed, instead it look like you have 4 things to do. Perhaps even leave out relax completely. Also the words Color Theory is a tiny bit too big for the tab.
Both of these compositions are very well executed. I feel like the first one has the potential to be much more personal than the second one. Since you don’t have your actual text, it’s pretty hard for me to critique these based on type. The font choices are good, but you should explore others and see if there is anything that would work better. On both compositions make sure not to have breaks in the text because it draws away from each design. Some specific areas I’m talking about are the steam in the second, or the flower stem in the first. Out of the two I would go with the first one. You might even lose some of the text to make it less complex and more readable, both as an image and as a paragraph. Great job on both of your designs. See which one works best for you.
ReplyDeleteI would really love to see where you go with flower. I think that it is far more interesting than the cup. It may help to thicken up the lines in certain places to create depth. It would also create some visual interest. As it stands now it’s a flower and that is great, but I want to see how the flower makes you feel. What emotions are tied to these trees and the moments you had with them growing up. Maybe play with type of font you are using as well. Serif fonts could help make the flower more organic looking, or san serif could achieve that as well. I would play around and see what works best.
ReplyDeleteThe cup of chocolate is kind of just there, and seems overdone. On the other hand I think that you did a really nice job using text to portray a nice, hot cup of hot chocolate on a cold day. I really think that you could go somewhere with the flower and really think you should go in that direction.
Definitely, go with the orchid. I'm curious to see what words you put in it. Make sure there is some hierarchy within the lines. The hierarchy will also give the image some depth and shadow. Consider putting a larger major phrase on the stem or stamen of the flower.
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