For the first idea I was focusing on how the burden of life can be really oppressive at times. I made a list of all the thoughts, moods, feelings, tasks, responsibilities, that I dealt with in one day. It was a huge list. I made the words into the shape of the world crushing down on me. When I started to work on this in school I used Times Roman...I think... but tonight when I brought it home my computer changed some of the font because I don't have that Times Roman on my computer. So I had to upload this crappy version for you. Sorry. I am fully aware I have two different fonts going on here and I will change it when I get back to the school's computer.
For the second idea I am using the Bodoni regular font. The idea is that the three circles in the middle of the larger circle represent my children. Donovan, Angelina, and Nina. Donovan is the oldest so he is the biggest circle and it goes down from there. Myself, Sarah, am the large circle enclosing the smaller circles. I guess you could say that I am protecting and nurturing my children. At the same time I have literal chaos going on around me with the stress of everyday life and the burdens of being a single mom. This represents how I am trying on a daily basis to do the right thing and bring up my children in a happy home while dealing with uncertainty, doubt, and challenges.
I would also like to add that I plan on condensing the words around the large circle....you know, making them really thick, like they are swarming around the center to give a threatening feeling.
For the second idea I am using the Bodoni regular font. The idea is that the three circles in the middle of the larger circle represent my children. Donovan, Angelina, and Nina. Donovan is the oldest so he is the biggest circle and it goes down from there. Myself, Sarah, am the large circle enclosing the smaller circles. I guess you could say that I am protecting and nurturing my children. At the same time I have literal chaos going on around me with the stress of everyday life and the burdens of being a single mom. This represents how I am trying on a daily basis to do the right thing and bring up my children in a happy home while dealing with uncertainty, doubt, and challenges.
I would also like to add that I plan on condensing the words around the large circle....you know, making them really thick, like they are swarming around the center to give a threatening feeling.
At first glance I did not understand either of your concepts, but after reading your explanations they became clearer. So maybe work on first glance meaning.
ReplyDeleteIn your first concept, it made me dizzy and confused at first glance. I did not understand your idea of the world coming down on you, but after reading your explanation I got the feeling of stress and the heavy feeling of your burdens. I know you mentioned you knew about the two typefaces, do not forget to change that.
In your second idea maybe make the circles into actual children with your type, because I did not read them as children. I saw it more as a molecule or cell of some sort. I think if you made the words around you and your children heavier and maybe a different typeface, something more “stressed looking” instead of a serif font which looks more sophisticated it would help your composition. Of course that changes the typeface for the whole piece, but I think it’s needed.
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI really like your first idea with the worlds coming down on you. I know you have two different fonts, but which one are you going to end up going with? The times roman is good. Maybe try bolding some of the words towards the bottom to get them to feel bigger and more crushing. Now I know the words are supposed to be the world, or a circular shape. I kind of want to see the empty space at the bottom filled up though. If you filled that in, you would still get that curved shape.
One the second rough, I like your concept but maybe you need to repeat less of the words on the outside of the circles. I see more of jiu-jitsu, cleaning, alarm, and college. Try and find some other words to replace a few of those with. Also try and make some of the words go off the corners of the page, just to show that there’s more or there’s always more challenges you’ll face. Maybe bold your circle to show a little difference than your children’s circle. I also like the idea that you’ll make some of the outside words bolder, or condensed.
I hope some of that helped… Good luck!
Hi Sarah,
ReplyDeleteAs the previous comment mentioned, your roughs are not easy to detect meaning without resorting to your explanation. But they are rewarding once you know. A cleaning up can help you, and that’s not too hard.
Rough One: Times Roman seems like a good choice. To clean it up a bit, try a little more spacing between lines of text so that more words pop out. Some touching works for your concept, but try a little more spacing. I think that might help make your concept more clear upon first glance. Also, try decreasing the overall size of the huge mass of text; then, bring up “me” a bit so it has more breathing room away from the bottom edge. Anther suggestion: I wonder what this would look like with the mass of text going straight across, not curved. I understand that makes it seem more ominous, but curves still seem feminine and friendly, not oppressive as, say, a huge rectangular mass of text might be.
Rough Two: I immediately thought this was a pistol or sorts. However, the concept is meaningful and unique to you, and I like that a lot. I would not suggest changing the shapes to resemble children (that might take up too much room), but I would agree that making the outside font bolder would make a difference. I do not like the angling of the words (it reminds me of rice around a plate). I wonder if you increased the size of some words, and played with the shape of the words (maybe some words are curving, some are bouncy or wavy, etc).
Both unique concepts, but I think the second one is more interesting and personal for you.
Upon first glance I was confused about what the point was behind either of your pieces, they are both very pleasing I just didn’t understand at first what the were supposed to represent. The first one seems like a sun and, I really thought it was kind of pleasant and relaxing, which is the opposite of what you were aiming for. I think that the main reason it reads like this, is because it feels like a gradient, light at the top then slowly fading into darkness. Either making the continents outlined in text or keeping all the text relatively the same thickness may help out with this. After reading your reasoning I understood what you were aiming for though, so if you like the fade it still works, it just needs some explaining.
ReplyDeleteThe second looked kinda like a bowling ball, and even after reading your description I can’t get my mind of the idea. Granted no matter how you arrange your children itll be hard to get away from it, maybe finding a way to emphasize that they are your children will help. After reading your ideas on this one it really made sense, and I like the rationalizing behind why you have done what you did!
I agree with the previous comments, in that I didn’t really understand what either of them was really trying to express. However after reading your explanations, I totally get it. I do think your execution on both may need to be taken a step further though to get what you mean. Both of them seem like you really did something that you really felt, and that others may have a strong connection with as well. I feel like many people would relate to the stress of the world on “ME” which is why this is a very good idea. I feel that instead of more space, like a previous comment said, I would make it even bolder. This would emphasize the sense of stress. I like how from starting from the top everything is somewhat minimal, and it just keeps piling and piling. I like Times New Roman as a type that is global in a sense and just reiterates your idea of the world. Very nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThe first one is very interesting to look at. I found my eyes following the circle and got lost in it. I think you captured the idea of all your thoughts and burdens in one crazy circle are a good idea! Although it kind of bothers me that the top is all put together nicely and the lines are not interrupted by other lines, then toward the bottom all the lines are cluttered and it is definitely illegible. I also think “me” should be more obvious. Since all these thoughts are supposed to be atop of you then I think that me should be more pronounced.
ReplyDeleteThis second one is very thoughtful. I like the idea and thought that was placed into it. I like you how you represented your children as circles that get larger as they get older. I think the words should be tighter around the circle like you said. That would look better as a composition I believe. Also I noticed a lot of the words are repeated and it is really obvious, maybe change the words and list other things, and maybe make some of the words larger and smaller or bolder and italic. I think that would give it more definition.
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI really like the layout of both of your compositions, I think they look very neat, and I like text you have chosen for both. I was immediately drawn to the first composition more so than the second one, because I did not understand the second one until I read your description. I really like the heaviness of the words toward to bottom; it clearly shows what you are trying to get across, that you feel like the weight of everything is coming down on you. It was a good idea to make the words into a circular form. The weight and boldness of the words toward the bottom seem pretty even but then they seem to get a little uneven towards the middle. I’m not sure if that was on purpose or if it was simply a placement problem, but I would maybe stretch vacuum out a little more to get rid of the space created between crash, vacuum, and grocery, to me it is a little distracting. One other suggestion is that you move “me” all the way down do it doesn’t look likes its just floating so you really get the feel of someone standing down there. Other than those little picky suggestions I think it is great.
Your second piece was hard to understand, I did not understand it until I read the description of it. From just a design view I really enjoy this layout. I like the way you chose to include both circular and diagonal shapes. The placement and overlapping of the diagonal words is nice. Maybe if you made either the words making the circle bolder, or the words around the outside bolder, it would help create a sense of depth.
I would have to say that I like the first composition the best out of the two although I think they are both put together pretty well. I say that because the second one is just harder to understand. I l
The word "me" needs to be on the bottom edge of the comp to feel like it's being compressed. It also needs to be a different size or style than the weight to make it stand out.
ReplyDeleteSome people mentioned they had a hard time understanding the weight of the words or what the words said. You could resolve this by moving the circles up and the last layer be a thick and heavy bolded sentence like "THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD"or something along those lines. That way that heavy sentence could be the focal point of the comp and the rest become visual weight.